Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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