is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
