he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
