She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
