in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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