it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
