just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
