if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
