matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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