Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
