Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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