It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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