Pants 0. Shit 1.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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