You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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