I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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