stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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