I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
