your thong is hanging out like whoa
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
