i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
