Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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