You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
