a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
