never play flip cup with pint glasses
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
