Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
