just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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