Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This is my gift to your gina
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
