Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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