My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
