my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
