he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
