the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
