used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize