yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
