He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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