I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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