so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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