So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
