I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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