my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Come on in and take your pants off
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