i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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