ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
