imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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