:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
