no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I understand Curling. That high.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
