I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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