your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
