yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
