omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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