She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
