This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
