my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Randomize