just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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