I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
