I think my fart just growled at me.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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