I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
