Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
