Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
