Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
