i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
