I cockslap morals
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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